Yesterday I had my annual neurological exam, which includes cognitive testing to gauge the extent to which my Parkinson’s disease is affecting brain function. Apparently there is a higher rate of dementia among Parkinson’s patients.
The only reason I mention this is because there were some pretty hilarious moments in the course of the cognitive testing. If there ever was any doubt about my being a right brain kinda gal, these tests cleared that up!
But there were a few surprises. For instance, I was surprised to see I no longer possess the ability to draw three dimensional cubes or boxes (something at which I excelled during my grade school years).
Now? Not so much. Fortunately, I can’t think of a single scenario in which my ability to draw three dimensional boxes might become a life or death issue in my life.
One exercise in this cognitive testing involved the technician’s presenting me with a list of five words to be promptly repeated back to him. They were: Banana, Desk, Truck, Green, Violin. I repeated them back with no problem.
He then distracted me with a battery of additional exercises.
“OK,” he says. “Now, can you repeat to me that list of five words?”
He no doubt knew I would be caught off guard -- thereby causing me to feel completely inadequate and utterly humiliated. It was great fun and we laughed and laughed. NOT.
I tried implementing memorization tools I’ve learned in times past, like creating a story that includes all five words. Mine was something along the lines of bananas sitting on a brown desk and being hauled away in a green truck.
Only I forgot the violin.
But that’s okay because he assured me four out of five was considered quite good. I know he was humoring me, but I took comfort in the knowledge that the man who went in after me only got three right.
I have a shamelessly competitive spirit.
The next exercise gave me the opportunity to really show my stuff! My mission, should I choose to accept it, was to rattle off every word I could think of that began with the letter ‘S’.
Now it is germane to this story to know that I suffer from insomnia. Guess what I do to get myself to sleep at night? I play word games -- like how many names or cities can I think of that start with the letter 'S'.
Still, I drew a blank when the clock first started ticking. OMG! I couldn’t think of a single ‘S’ word, not even a simple one like, er ... ‘simple’. The only words that came to mind were complex, multi-syllabic ones: symbiotic, subliminal, synonym.
Fortunately it didn’t matter as long as they started with ‘S.’ Great! Suffocate. Supplements. I was in the zone! Synopsis. Submission. Sesquicentennial. (Yep. I actually said that one!) This exercise definitely appealed to the writer in me! We writers do love our words!
Statutory. Soporific. Take that, dementia! Saponification. And that!
What was really hilarious was watching the technician’s face turn from maybe just a little bored to surprise to unbridled amusement!
Finally, a test in which I excelled! Three dimensional cubes be damned! Who needs cubes when I’ve got ‘subliminal’ and ‘sanctimonious’. Do you think there’ll be a prize?
Ding. Minute’s up! No!!! I’ve still got ‘S’ words in my reservoir!
Surprisingly, despite my insecurities about stick boxes and numeric exercises, my test results showed a marked improvement in both coordination and cognitive ability compared to the previous year’s findings.
So, thank you, Writing.
Thank you, On the Border of Time and Whispers Through Time. Thank you, Zeb and Julia, Luke and Anna (characters in my books)!
Thank you, Scrabble, crossword puzzles and Boggle. Thank you for keeping my mind sharp for yet another year so I can write more stories — and maybe remember my husband’s name.
Now, I’m going to start practicing my box drawing skills. I’m going to be ready for this next year!
Oh, and something else that came from all of this? The technician Googled me and bought both my books!
Score! Take that, Parkinson’s!
